Me,Tea & Soci-tea!

Humanity Fired!

2010-12-04T10:44:00.000-08:00

A case study.

The white envelope in Tina’s hands contained nothing but unending darkness in its womb. She stood in front of the door of her B-112 apartment in sector 27, Noida. As her long skinny fingers fought a duel with the tenacious adhesive holding the paper joint together, her heart frantically prayed for a reason to re-establish her faith in God. Alas! It wasn’t destined to happen. With anger seething in her veins she unlocked her door. Then, with steps as ferocious as an invading Red Army she marched into her bedroom. Inside, a visibly beaten man lay comatose on the keyboard of his laptop, his heavy skull sending letters berserk on the open word file. The scene would have probably aroused sympathy in the eyes of most people, but for Tina it was merely a catalyst, acting towards increasing her blood pressure. The most disgusting site in the world for a wife is an empty husband and Tina Naresh was living this nightmare. She went over the desk and smacked the letter onto her sleeping better half’s smart but useless face.

“Take it!” she shouted in rage, “Your 7^th rejection letter! Congratulations! Now, may I just ask you when you will stop experimenting with words and do something about earning bread?”

The wild rebuke worked like epinephrine, pulling the man out of his slumber. For once, the keys on the keyboard thanked the woman of relieving them of their pain. Ram Naresh scratched his head as he tried to distinguish between the surreal reality of the dreams he had woken up from and the realistic nightmare that existed. He picked up the letter and read only the first five words.

“We regret to inform you…..”

7 months ago, he was the HR manager at Lehh Tech India Software solutions. During the global recession, the company was forced to trim its workforce in order to boost its productivity. The trimming meant getting rid of 250 fresh graduates at its Noida development centre. All was hunky dory, until Ram Naresh challenged the management’s decision. “Instead of bloodletting such a huge chunk of trained individuals,” he tried to explain the higher management, “there is a possibility that they can be used for some new product development.” Invariably, he was at loggerheads with most of the managerial team. The meeting organized to discuss the issue had almost broken into a verbal duel between Ram and his boss. Outnumbered and outmanned over his decision, Ram Naresh had only one choice left with him. On January 7^th, 2009, 251 instead of the predetermined 250 people, walked out of the lush green environmental friendly campus of Lehh Tech. Leading the pack was the man whom the company had made an example off – Ram Naresh. As he walked towards the road of despair in front of him, he turned around to have one last look at the sanctuary of his perpetrators.

“Bastards!” he grunted as he walked off.

It was only that day that Tina came to know of the stress her husband had been enduring for the past 15 days. Tina herself was an HR executive with an IT firm. When she heard what had transpired she was left aghast. She tried her best to console and sympathize with Ram. She knew how difficult it was to cut heads among your own, but she also knew that the corporate downtime the world was facing wasn’t going to end anytime soon. She wanted to convince Ram to go and apologize to the senior management team, but the mere mention of Lehh would send his temper soaring like a missile. Ram on the other hand was left devastated. The reckless act had shaken his belief in the industry he worked for. Suddenly, everything corporate started to appear as a farce. The HR magazines he devoured now appeared more like propaganda manuals. Wherever he looked, business and HR were the new names of terror. Even TV channels were taking a sadistic pleasure in showing employees’ cry for their jobs. ‘HR’ for him now, was nothing but a mercenary getting paid for manslaughter. Unable to bear the babel of dirty business around him, Ram slipped into a quagmire of dejection and isolation. Most of the time he would lock himself up in his room and scribble his hate onto sheets of paper. This, he thought, was the only way to cope with the vacuum in his life.

Meanwhile, Tina was trying to hold things together. She worked double the hard to maintain her performance levels. Even her company had resorted to downsizing. Tina did not commit the same mistake her husband did. Her social and financial dilemma was too grave for her to care about ethics, consequences, repercussions and employee unhappiness. As months passed by, Tina’s frustration grew by leaps and bounds. Overwork and the sight of the vegetable like human being lying at home were taking a toll on her senses. Each and every time she saw her colleagues going out and dining with their beau’s, a volcano would erupt inside her. The sparks of the couple’s professional friction had by now started to set afire their domestic life.

“Ram,” Tina said one evening, “it’s getting really difficult for me to hold things in place like this. I understand you are hurt, but this is no way to deal with it. You need to take back the reins of your life.”

“What are you suggesting?” he asked.

“Suggesting? Don’t you understand! I am telling you to go and find a job!” Tina screamed at his indiscretion.

“I can’t.”

“Why? Why can’t you? What do you want me to do? I am working my flesh off and you are here eating and relishing your sabbatical. This is it, Ram! If you don’t do something about yourself, I’ll kill myself!”

Ram was stunned at this wild rebuttal.

“Tina, I need more time. Just a little more! You know I have also written a book on my experiences. It’s almost complete! Maybe I can help the world around in some other way……” he tried to placate Tina.

“I am tired Ram,” she interrupted, her eyes moist with tears of desperation. “I can’t see you like this. When I see people around me happily chit chatting, I feel jealous. I feel jealous at their destiny. I feel jealous the way they talk. I feel jealous….” she burst into tears.

“Everything will be fine,” Ram consoled her. Nothing will be fine ever again.

Another 3 months passed by. Tina received a promotion and was now a senior HR in her company. While Tina was busy collecting accolades and recognitions, all Ram got were rejection letters from publishing houses. He was swarmed by a deluge of sorry’s and regret’s. Each regret letter was a crushing blow to whatever resilience was left in him. Ram’s daily diet now consisted of more sleeping tablets than meals. Each time he slept, he hoped, he wouldn’t have to get up again. Tina’s exasperation, on the other hand, was growing ferociously. Though her promotion gave her the financial stability she needed, Ram unknowingly was murdering her social needs. Her husband had become a major cause of embarrassment for her. She stopped attending parties and social gatherings. She dreaded what she would say if asked about her husband. A night later, another showdown took place at the Naresh residence. She had arranged for a job interview which Ram gave a miss.

“You are an idiot! A good for nothing! Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!” Tina’s anger was making her more verbose day by day. “It’s better not to have a husband than having a husband like you. Fool!” she bellowed.

Ram stood in silence. “I…”

“No more explanations Ram. Just go. Go and write the bullshit you have been writing for months and then get rejected. Just get out! Get out of this room! Get out of this house! Get out of my life!”

Tina’s rage was tearing her body apart. Meanwhile, all Ram did was turn around and leave.

Next day Tina got ready for the office. She repented for her reactions the day before, but thought that admitting them would only make Ram more complacent. She left in silence.

Tina was unable to concentrate on her work the entire day. She repented for the words that flew like poisoned arrows from her lips. Inside, her blood pressure seethed making her feel nauseated. Unable to bear the turbulence inside her body, she left the office early. On her way back she went to the chemist shop near her home.

“Namaste Madam,” the shopkeeper greeted her. Tina gave a plastic smile before asking for her pills.

“It’s Rs. 350,” the shopkeeper said flipping the calculator “Ramji came today morning. Appears he has not been going to the office lately. Is everything all right?”

“Everything’s fine.” Tina answered angrily in contempt. It was the worst time this question could have come up. Tina collected her packet and stomped out of the shop.

Outside her door, a white letter lay trapped under the door. She pulled out the poor piece of paper and ripped the sealing off.

“Dear Ram,” it said, “We recently went through your manuscript “Humanity Fired!” We believe that your book holds a lot of potential and would like to discuss the opportunity of entering into a collaboration. Please call us on the number given below so that we can send our agent to discuss the terms and conditions of the proposal.”

Tina couldn’t believe what she was reading. All the nausea and pain from her body suddenly disappeared. Her eager fingers ransacked the purse to find the keys to the door, but her excitement wouldn’t let her. Somehow, she got hold of the keys and turned the lock.

“Ram! Ram!” she bolted towards the bedroom where he lay sleeping on his computer chair.

“Baby, you did it! You did it!” she shouted hugging him from the back of his chair. But there was no response. Before Tina could understand what happened, a lifeless body slumped to the floor. On the laptop in front, lay an empty bottle of sleeping pills.

“Raaaaaam!” Tina screamed in horror.

Clenched between the fingers of the dead man was his last memoir.

“Dear Tina,

I know you have been disgruntled by my behavior lately. I know I have failed to be the husband you wanted. Neither was I a good husband nor a good companion. It’s too difficult me to escape from my thoughts. I tried my level best to bring myself to terms with life. But I don’t think I would be able to go back to my previous job or the life I had been living. I worked for those people for 3 years. That company was a mere startup when I joined. Now, three successful years later, this is what they give me in return. The company in which you arranged my interview was no different. I did a search and found out that they downsized their firm by 475 people last month. Don’t tell me that 475 people just went redundant in one day. My rejections tell me that even the people don’t want to listen to the truth. Probably, they are better off fighting and killing. It’s a world where humans are abundant but humanity endangered. There’s just too much corruption, monetarily and morally, and too many lies involved. Maybe I am impractical. Maybe it’s a delusion I am living in, but let me tell you, I am happy. I am happy that I don’t have to work as a butcher. My only cause of sadness is that I have failed you. To tell you the truth, I don’t deserve living with you. All I can give you is pain and unhappiness. Therefore, I have decided to leave. I would go away from your life. But don’t get me wrong, I still love you, I always have. It’s just that you’ll be better off without me. I have sold off the small piece of land my family owned near Sohna. It will fetch enough money for you to live comfortably even if you don’t work. Finally, all I want to say is - I am Sorry! Take care of yourself. Goodbye!”

Discussion Question:

1. Who killed Ram Naresh?

A. He himself

B. Tina Naresh

C. Lehh Ltd.

D. Destiny

E. We

5 months at Bimtech…..More Khoya, Less Payaa.

2009-10-25T08:30:00.001-07:00

At last. Finally. Ultimately. Aakhirkar. The occasion to write the second installment of the Khoya-Payaa episode has come. Sud and me had previously tried to write a blog post on what we think, were the most sober gang of girls in the class, aptly known as the Sharafat Ali gang, but we had some reservations, owing to which the project was scrapped. (Sorry Guys!)

Moving on, what happened in the past few months? Some tragedies, some ecstasies, nevertheless a few visits to ‘Home Sweet Home’. Starting with the tragedies,

1. I was screwed in my trimester exams. My CGPA is somehow holding itself together at an unimpressive 6 (i.e. minus the 2 papers whose results are yet to be announced..yes, I am trying to justify my incompetency.) I’d request the college to atleast follow a Jhatka policy instead of Halaal. Ek baar me maar ke kaam khatam karo yaar, tadpate kyon ho?

2.Something worse than this also took place. I was, (according to the college) Penalized (but I prefer the word Burglarized) by 500 bucks. My fault, I went home without soliciting a permission from the warden and well, you know, a myriad of reasons, or should i call blames, thrust upon me. Don’t know why it happens, the more education I acquire, the more disappointed I get. Add to this my recalcitrance, my inherent allergy to authority, the situation gets even more ballistic. For a long time, I thought that this was the problem of an authoritative capital-oriented system. Now, I believe that it’s my problem. The truth is, that I am unfit for the contorted ways of this world, or the what so called Duniyadaari. I can’t assume myself bending before each and every person, attesting my servility. Abraham Lincoln once said that if you want to test the character of a person, give him power. I, from my own experience, can say that 99% of the people fail. I don’t know how such unobtrusive authority can create bold entrepreneurs. It’s only fit for breeding salesmen. The problem does not belong to schools, b-schools or other institutes alone. Take MNC’s for example. Each of their departments is a charade.

Finance – Dupe the Government and Tax authorities.

Marketing – Dupe your customers. (Customer is the king, though a foolish one!)

Human Resources – Last but not the least, these pesky little employees create a lot of fuss, so let’s teach these people a lesson.

And this, my dear, is the world of MBA. The Persians used lashes to control people. MNC’s use silk boots. The biggest lesson I have learnt is that either you can do Business or practice Ethics. Business and Ethics don’t go together. All rest is bullshit!

It makes me think that the world is an ugly place to live in and ‘Humans’ is a disgusting race, because no one, absolutely no one, can exhibit such savagery. We call for fairness, justice, equality….the first thing you are taught at a B-School is whatever your salary package is, multiply it by 10 - This is the output, in terms of money, the company seeks from you. There goes the fairness, the justice and the equality… When I heard this, for the first time in my life, I realized the true value of socialism. I considered it as an obstacle to development and what not. Now, I realize why Karl Marx said that Capitalism is self destructive. It deserves such an end.

You must be thinking that I am crazy, trying to understand socialism in a b-school. True! Writers are governed by strange capricious rules. The great one’s are called lunatic, the smaller one’s fools. Now consider another hilarious or rather ridiculous incident. My dear college arranged a function in collaboration with SPIC-MACAY named “Viraasat – 09.” By the end of the third day, the public had started calling it “Panavati - 09” (panavati means liability). In addition to this, there was a strange demand from the organizers’; they wanted to perform overnight on 24th October and as usual wanted some eyes and ears to grace the occasion. So, as usual, the attendance was made compulsory. I don’t know whose avant garde brain was behind this, but just explain me one thing; How can you teach culture under compulsion? And if you think you can, then what is the difference between you and the Taliban. The tools of intimidation are different, but the threat remains the same – Subjugation. Complete and absolute Subjugation. Probably, the next time I would hear the name SPIC-MACAY, I would be running as if my house’s on fire.

Most of our life is spent in being driven by others. First our parents, then schools, then those nagging class teachers, then colleges, then jobs, then bosses and lastly, the x10 factor. George Orwell once said, “The great mass of human beings are not acutely selfish. At the age of thirty they abandon individual ambition – in many cases indeed – they almost abandon the sense of being individual at all – and live chiefly for others, or simply, smothered under drudgery. ”

Undoubtedly, a man who speaks my mind, except for the fact that the age of thirty has now reduced to twenty something. The most effective way to control people is to kill the spirit. It’s very effective. I suggest you watch or read George Orwell’s 1984 and The Wachowski Brother’s film V for Vendetta to better understand what I am saying. The truth is, that unknown to us, a Big Brother is always watching over. The next time you feel the rush of youth, look inside yourself and try to find who are you afraid of? There would always be a Rat coming towards you.

Though I tried to start this post on a jocular note, the events have taken a serious turn. For me, writing is a way of happily crying my heart out, and this is what I was doing for the past 2 hrs, when I should have been studying for the OLT. Many a times, one small incident can have drastic repercussions on your vision of life. It’s funny how life can be both so appealing and disgusting at the same time. It is so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it. No matter how good, bad or ugly this world is, the one thing I won’t do is run away. I am not an escapist. Whatever vestigial part of good persists, it’s enough to make life a worthwhile experience. The biggest battles are fought inside the human mind and so am I with myself, consistently, perpetually. Regarding culture, I appreciate the initiative, I sincerely do, but according to me, any such compulsion defeats the entire purpose of Cultural Awareness. To conclude, I would like to pass on a sound piece of advice, not by me, but a great woman,

A culture is made – or destroyed – by it’s articulate voices.

- Ayn Rand.

From TOP to STOP!

2009-08-24T23:33:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I think writing is a gift....it really is. It relieves me of my stress, my anxiety, my fear. I write these posts not for people but for myself. If they read then I’ll be happy, If not there is no reason to be sad. When i write these posts, I forget about the viva, the trimester that hangs like a sword or even those boring to-be-attended lectures. All I am, is a spectator watching the entire show from a distant eye. It's beautiful! how you can be so attached, yet so detached from the world. It's 11.37 and I feel no fear....for that exam, for that viva or for that trimester. At this moment, it's just me and this world. With all it's complexities and chaos, I still think…. it's beautiful! People are running like crazy. All want to be at the top. Top of their class, top of their profession and as a matter of fact, top of the class CGPA. In this rat race, what people miss to see are those subtle beauties of life.....that one cute smile, that one soft whisper, that one golden moment of silence that seems to stretch infinitesimally. All you need to do to watch this magnum opus is to say "STOP!" Let the time freeze. Let there be no bondage's....no accounts, no stats, no OB, no pesky little room partners, no nagging teachers, no girlfriends and neither any boyfriends. Precisely at this moment, you would be in tune with the world. The art is not in getting away from the world but rather getting in tune with the world, a tune long forgotten.....

(And yet again, some sheep have flocked my room breaking my flow…..TO HELL WITH THIS…..Sometimes I think people are Violent even in subtlest of terms. Consciously or subconsciously WE ARE DESTRUCTIVE….and when we have nothing to destroy, we destroy time! Reading the Question papers and saying that I don’t know ANYTHING isn’t going to help. Stop preaching, start practising. I hate these sheep's.)

2 months at Bimtech…..Kya Khoya Kya Payaa??

2009-07-30T10:55:00.001-07:00

It has been 2 months (well…..they will be in a matter of 32 hrs)….2 gruelling/funny/awesome/depressing/repressing months!! Some things i learned in these months are 1. SWOT-> saare bande/bandiyon/companiyon….the whole human race through the eyes of a manager is this – SWOT.

2. Some results reaffirmed my faith in HR as a career option (though I had my fair share of depressions…..something like ZERO placements in this field!)

3. The most important thing that OB (Organizational Behaviour) taught is PERCEPTION. It made me understand that what we ‘understand’ is not what we look, but what we perceive. When I went through the chapter I wanted to climb on the rooftop and shout…….AWESOME! AWESOME!

One of the best lectures of my life was the one conducted by a Mr. K.K. Jain from IIM-I……that day I wanted to climb on the rooftop and shout ….AWESOME! AWESOME! yet again.

BTW….let’s talk about the students. Some are decent, some irritating…..fortunately the decent outnumbering the irritating. My hostel wing is good too (except for a few!) There are some who are very eccentric….we have a decent guy who asks too many questions…a girl who appears to be the decent guys’ sister in terms of her questions. A guy who is set on fire merely by the mention of politics. There’s another one who along with his entire band of boys appears to have everything together, from sutta to studies. I also have a soft target for some fun...his name's KD, that's all I can tell about that nerd....kabhi phursat se aur bhi bataunga.

NOW,you must be anxious to know about the gals….isn’t it?? Well, there are a few good women (yeah….the phrase does bear a resemblance to the famous movie name A FEW GOOD MEN)….The baby faced CR girl (whom I call the Caped Crusader for reasons you wont know or even remotely assume) is always smiling like a bonny girl….but i can tell she’s a fine human being. One of her friends is a super silent types (many people say this about me too – SUPER SILENT….cheeee!)…her speciality is that she always sits with such a straight back in the class, that sometimes I just wanna scream out – HOW DO YOU DO THAT??? I tried it for an hour and was writhing in pain on my bed for rest of the day. GOSH!!! Albeit she too appears to be a a very fine person.

I think that’s enough for today……also because some distraction has broken my though process. I’ll see ya next time I’m sad……(I write only when I am sad. All my other posts were output of PRE and POST CAT depression.

BTW: Till now i have only told a fraction of the Payaa Part……rest of Payaa and Khoyaa is left! What type of writing style is this? MBA karo phir pataa chalega!!

Col. Harish Puri's open letter to Gen Kayani.

2009-04-26T02:19:00.000-07:00

This is the letter that Col. Harish Puri addressed to Gen Kayani. Apart from the diplomacy and politics involved, this letter is surely the panache of writing. Impeccable use of Vocabulary and exuding the sheer intensity of Gen. Puri's thoughts, the letter would go down as one of the most marvellous letters ever written in English.

An open letter to Gen Kayani

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Dear Gen Kayani,
Sir, let me begin by recounting that old army quip that did the rounds in the immediate aftermath of World war II: To guarantee victory, an army should ideally have German generals, British officers, Indian soldiers, American equipment and Italian enemies.

A Pakistani soldier that I met in Iraq in 2004 lamented the fact that the Pakistani soldier in Kargil had been badly let down firstly by Nawaz Sharif and then by the Pakistani officers' cadre. Pakistani soldiers led by Indian officers, , he believed, would be the most fearsome combination possible. Pakistani officers, he went on to say, were more into real estate, defence housing colonies and the like.

As I look at two photographs of surrender that lie before me, I can't help recalling his words. The first is the celebrated event at Dhaka on Dec 16, 1971, which now adorns most Army messes in Delhi and Calcutta. The second, sir, is the video of a teenage girl being flogged by the Taliban in Swat -- not far, I am sure, from one of your Army check posts.

The surrender by any Army is always a sad and humiliating event. Gen Niazi surrendered in Dhaka to a professional army that had outnumbered and outfought him. No Pakistani has been able to get over that humiliation, and 16th December is remembered as a black day by the Pakistani Army and the Pakistani state. But battles are won and lost – armies know this, and having learnt their lessons, they move on.

But much more sadly, the video of the teenager being flogged represents an even more abject surrender by the Pakistani Army. The surrender in 1971, though humiliating, was not disgraceful. This time around, sir, what happened on your watch was something no Army commander should have to live through. The girl could have been your own daughter, or mine.

I have always maintained that the Pakistani Army, like its Indian counterpart, is a thoroughly professional outfit. It has fought valiantly in the three wars against India, and also accredited itself well in its UN missions abroad. It is, therefore, by no means a pushover. The instance of an Infantry unit, led by a lieutenant colonel, meekly laying down arms before 20-odd militants should have been an aberration. But this capitulation in Swat, that too so soon after your own visit to the area, is an assault on the sensibilities of any soldier. What did you tell your soldiers? What great inspirational speech did you make that made your troops back off without a murmur? Sir, I have fought insurgency in Kashmir as well as the North-East, but despite the occasional losses suffered (as is bound to be the case in counter-insurgency operations), such total surrender is unthinkable.

I have been a signaller, and it beats me how my counterparts in your Signal Corps could not locate or even jam a normal FM radio station broadcasting on a fixed frequency at fixed timings. Is there more than meets the eye?

I am told that it is difficult for your troops to "fight their own people." But you never had that problem in East Pakistan in 1971, where the atrocities committed by your own troops are well documented in the Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report. Or is it that the Bengalis were never considered "your own" people, influenced as they were by the Hindus across the border? Or is that your troops are terrified by the ruthless barbarians of the Taliban?

Sir, it is imperative that we recognise our enemy without any delay. I use the word "our" advisedly – for the Taliban threat is not far from India's borders. And the only force that can stop them from dragging Pakistan back into the Stone Age is the force that you command. In this historic moment, providence has placed a tremendous responsibility in your hands. Indeed, the fate of your nation, the future of humankind in the subcontinent rests with you. It doesn't matter if it is "my war" or "your war" – it is a war that has to be won. A desperate Swati citizen's desperate lament says it all – "Please drop an atom bomb on us and put us out of our misery!" Do not fail him, sir.

But in the gloom and the ignominy, the average Pakistani citizen has shown us that there is hope yet. The lawyers, the media, have all refused to buckle even under direct threats. It took the Taliban no less than 32 bullets to still the voice of a brave journalist. Yes, there is hope – but why don't we hear the same language from you? Look to these brave hearts, sir – and maybe we shall see the tide turn. Our prayers are with you, and the hapless people of Swat.

The New York Times predicts that Pakistan will collapse in six months. Do you want to go down in history as the man who allowed that to happen?

The writer is a retired colonel of the Indian army who lives in Pune. Email: hbpuri@hotmail.com

The Making Of: PlayStation

2009-04-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

A wonderful article by edge online. It narrates how Sony, battling with both internal and external struggles, created the playstation and beat nintendo at its own game.

http://www.edge-online.com/magazine/the-making-of-playstation

Meri Kitaab!

2009-04-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

Iknow! I know! It has been 5 months since i last attended upon this blog (which nobody see's!) Anyways, today is a special day- aaj main apni paheli kitaab likh rela hoon....my first book. It's a science fiction and hopefully, itni buri nahi hogi. Agar koi dekhne ki zehmat uthana chahta hai to he can see it here:

http://www.ifiwereabook.com/BookDisplay.aspx?pid=570

Comments,Ratings and criticisms are welcome. You are also invited to throw shoes and stones at your computer if u feel that the book is utter crap, but mind that I am in no way responsible for the injury caused to your computer screen. Bhagwan aapki raksha kare (May god protect you!)

By the way, Ghajini se to meri book achchi hi hogi...see ya.Bye!

The new name of Nonsense - Ghajini!!

2008-12-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

Warning: Watching this movie can cause severe head damage. Viewer discretion is advised. Only people w/o brains shall be able to suffer this cavalry. Incase you survive, you will beg to be a patient of anterograde amnesia so that you can forget this ordeal.

What happens when you blow up a balloon off its limits? It bursts. And that is what happened with my expectations with Ghajini. If you have to look at your watch seven times during a movie, believe me, it's not good for the movie! Half the way through the story, the director actually goofs-up with amnesia and anterograde amnesia! The songs all work in conjuction in slowing down the pace of the already sluggish film. Sometimes, it gives you a feel that you are watching a B grade South Indian film instead of a Hindi one. Rab ne bana di jodi, which till now I considered as purely idiotic, lest funny, now appears as a box office blockbuster. Aamir khans growls, just like his family pack body are all plastic. He is brilliant actor, I agree, but he fails to get into the mould of an action hero.

For people who have already seen momento, the ghajini affair won't even be tolerable. The acumen that the plot of momento possesed is altogether missing from ghajini. After a point it becomes a hero-on-a-vengence-for-lovers-death movie that you have seen a zillion times. The disease itself is unconvincingy potrayed, as if Aamir is selctive of when to forget and when to not. The entire story is fairly predictable. Aamir's way of wrecking havoc over his enemies is indigestible. Asin is good. Jiah, as usual, boring. Aamir echelons lower than the DJ of Rang de Basanti.

The beauty of Momento was its simplicity and intelligensia of the plot. You could easily identify with Guy Pearce's forgetful character, which is not the case with Aamir's. The fim is salted with some cheap comedy with a Shahrukh look-alike which might impress the Reserve and First class audience. A.R. Rehaman's music is a BIG loser. You just can't believe that this is the same person who did the orchestra of Slumdog Millionaire. You won't even understand a word of Prasoon Joshi's lyrics.

The only impressive scenes are Asin's brutal murder and the penultimate action scenes, because they were done without any gore or blood. Overall, Ghajini fails to impress; rather depresses. Don't waste your money on Ghajini as I did by going first-day-first-show. In the theatre Amir was tearing off his clothes, and outside the theatre I was tearing off my hair!

(..............And which type of person wears muscle clinging short shirts in the corporate world, please clarify!)

I'll rather suggest to beg, borrow or steal the DVD of Slumdog Millionaire and watch it. Change my name if your heart doesn't jump out with joy after watching Slumdog.

Sire, it is not a revolt - it is a revolution!

2008-12-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write this blog post on 16th november, the day of CAT, describing the Cat-astrophe. But due to some rasons, followed by a terrible turn of events, I wasn't able to do so. For 3 days, I, you and all our countrymen were under siege - the siege that engulfed Chabad, Taj and Oberoi.I won't talk of the facts and figures, as they must be pinned to your memory by now. I am not a bureaucrat or advisor who wants to advise the deaf indian government on what it ought to do, and what it did. This is just the voice of a common Indian, of what he wants to see, of what his newfound bloodthirstiness is about, and also, of what he can, and will do....

We are thirsty - thirsty for the blood of those who were responsible for the annihilation at TAJ, thirsty for the blood of Afzal Guru, thirsty for the blood of Lashkar-e-toiba and thirsty for the blood of terrorists and those breeding them. A debate's raging in the nation. For the first time people are explicitly vocal against politicians in a unanimous voice. They want immideate results!

Sire, it is not a revolt - it is a revolution!

For me, cleanliness and revolution start at home. Today, I was thinking of what I, as an unarmed common man, can do to combat terrorism. The media and newspapers are busy dissecting the political, beureaucratic and intel. failures, but I am concerned with me, and the 1 billion people with 2 billion eyes, and what they can do.Indians are known to be submissive people, they aren't born-fighters (and when they do, they fight for all the wrong reasons.Eg. The NaistoNabood Sena). We will need to progress from "Dehal gayi Mumbai and Seham gaya Bharat" to "Badla legi Mumbai and Khoon ke aasoon rulayega Bharat." We need to act, and act fast. To aid this these are some of my thoughts:

1>A PSYCHOLOGICAL mentality, similar to Cold War Soviet Union, or present day Israel -"Remain Vigilant at all times". The armed forces should train people for this. We should know a way to spot the unusual among the usual. The terrorists had videotaped Taj, Chabad House and many other spots in Mumbai. Assume someone vieotaping your home - you WILL enquire him. Assume someone videotaping your country - you now NEED to enquire him.

2>A NO-NEGOTIATION policy against terrorists - It's easy to say, but hard to achieve. I know what I am asking, I am asking you (touchwood! it may never happen) to leave hopes for any negotiation, in case your near and dear one's get in such an ugly situation. This did happen in the IC814 hijacking case, and we had to let go of three dreaded bastards because of it. This one policy will work towards our benefit in the long-term. It will act as the womb of the "fighting-spirit", that I am talking about. People will experience that fearlessness, the same courage that American civilians showed on 9/11 onboard the United 93 flight preventing it from crashing over the White House, because they will not have an option. There will be blood, but all those people would act as a warning to the terrorists - BEWARE! We can Fight, and We can Kill. Secondly, this will also prove to be a deterrant for hostage situations, because if such a policy is in force, the very purpose of holding people at ransom is defeated.

3>Compulsory MILITARY Training - Basic combat moves will help people with their reflexes. If, by chance, you as a hostage, get hold of an AK or even a knife, and have an advantageous position, you should atleast know how to use it. You should know where the Gun's lock is, or how a knife is held and on which part of the body should it be targeted for a sure-shot kill.

4>TERROR for TERRORISTS - It may sound inhuman, but terrorists should be promptly and PUBLICLY executed. Terrorists can take to anything, but not humiliation. They should be executed in full media glare, so that a prospective terrorist should think twice before venturing in any destructive activity.

People now want to see pro-active actions rather than re-actions. Unfortunately, the government has not been able to give even a proper reaction. The days of political apathy and dilly-dallying are over.People want to see PoK, if not Pakistan, bombed. We want slain terrorists. 200 people have been killed in the mayhem, don't we have the right to kill one Afzal Guru??

I would like to end this with an advise for those terrorists,

If you are a terror to many, beware of many.......

MNS - Did somebody just say Maharashtra NaistoNabood Sena??

2008-11-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

Mi Marathi, Assi Punjabi, Main Hindi.......and on and on and on! People just find out newer and newer ways to arouse Sentiments of Mass Destruction. "United we live, Divided we fall" sounded so good in our schools, but as they say, it's easy to say and harder to achieve. In their lust for power toreros like Mr. Raj Thackray and all other pseudo Sons of Soil, subject people like us to a bullfight; a bullfight of hatred, jealousy and destruction. And the most heart-breaking part is that "educated people" like you and me, happily become an element of this maelstorm. (Yes, I am pointing towards those blogs and articles that justify these awakening activities going on in Maharashtra.)

The what-so-called "awakening" of the Marathi Manoos credited to the Thackray clan who ironically enough, themselves belong to Madhya Pradesh (land of "Hindi people" as they put it), are actively squelching the spirit of people and the peace of our country.In this era of globalization common people like you and me are being segregated on geographical issues and used as pawns to fight each other. Subconsciously or consciously, we are being subjected to prepare a perfect recipe for a doomed state. Remember, how we criticize and mock when Shia and Sunni Muslims fight with each other. Today, I want to ask you the same question- "Are we any different?"

Lots of students today go to U.S. for higher studies. One Soumya Reddy is shot dead and we swarm the United States with questions over security. U.S., a place where people from a different race; a race where many have a hardcore notion of superiority over Indians, is expected to congenially accomodate Indian students, giving them all superior comforts. Doesn't this sound bullshit? When you are not ready to live in peace with your fellow countrymen, men of the same race and similar culture, how do you expect people from a different race to pleasantly welcome you, when you are also being preffered over jobs that morally are their right. Salute them that they still give you a warm reception at their gates. Many would think that they do it because we pay them, but your chips dear, cannot rule on public sentiment. Learn something from them.

If Raj Thackray would have devoted half of his energy in driving out Bangladeshis instead of Biharis, the poor Indians would have hailed him as their God.In the bloodbath that these politicians initiate, nothing happens to them.Only innocent biharis, marathis and chattisgarhis suffer.Only people like Rahul Raj and Dharamdev Rai are lynched.

Lastly, a message for all the Radical thinkers who think that North Indians have encroached upon aamchi Mumbai. Socrates once said:

"Field and trees teach me nothing but the people in a city do."

Cities don't make people. People make cities.Mumbai did not make the Film Industry.The industry made it, what it is today. Also, it's a well known fact that Bihar and U.P. supply the best quality skilled labour. The lower class labour belonging to Maharashtra is known to be clumsy and lackadaisical. If you need evidence just try to find out what happened at Empress Mills, owned by Tata group, in Nagpur.

And now we come to the Climax - for all the North Indians-Maharashtra-chhoddo people, I have some even more daring points to blow up your moral-right-over-mumbai arguements to smitherteens. RAMA and KRISHNA both were north indians. Rama was the suryavanshi prince of Raghukul, whereas Krishna was a Yadav from Uttar Pradesh.So, in case of moral rights, you (the radical beings) loose the right over god. Stop worshipping them and North Indians will kiss a good bye to Maharashtra.

Wait! Wait! Wait! It's still not over! Vithalla and Ganesh are still left.Lord Krishna, accidentally strayed into Pandharpur without the permission of Raj Thackray (I am extremely sorry on his behalf!) and stood over a brick, taking the name of Vithalla. He says he is very sorry and won't do it again, so please spare him and leave him. Also, geographically Ganesha resided somewhere in Kailash and was definitely not a marathi speaking native, so kiss him a good bye too......(No more Ganesh Chaturthi! Sorry to hear that!)

You must be boiling by now, aren't you? Somebody just shunned you from getting close to that being, getting close to whom alone matters. This is how hate-politics is played. I don't want to hurt anyone's sentiments. I only want you to realize who the real enemy is. But if you still think that the Marathi Manoos' awakening is necessary, then God please leave me deep in my slumber when "my" people begin to awaken!........Please!

Update: Where was Raj thackray and his naistonabood sena wahen Mumbai was bleeding???

We the People - And the "Kucch nahin ho sakta" syndrome.

2008-10-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

How many times have you heard this pet hindustani paraphrase "Kya Karein???" a.k.a "Kucch nahi kar sakte" a.k.a "Kucch nahin ho sakta".Let me be more clear-cut, how many times have you uttered this.What!.....................lost the count, haven't you? Useless government-Kucch nahin ho sakta, exorbitant fees-Kucch nahin ho sakta, bad roads-Kucch nahin ho sakta, no electricity-Kucch nahin ho sakta, bomb blasts-Kucch nahin ho sakta........the list is endless.If you want an answer as to why India, after 60 years of independence and with an unparalleled storehouse of human resources, struggles to become a First World Country, just read the Italicized words carefully.It is because of you...............and me.....................and everybody around us, that we are in such a sorry state.Yet, after heartily slandering and blaming all the man-made and natural forces around us, we go to bed as a contented being-"Kya Karein, Kucch nahi kar sakte???"

The problem is in our outlook and to an extent in our social upbringing - An upbringing of escapism,hopelessness and adjustment.We have learnt that if the environment is not conducive then- step1>Stay calm, step 2> close your eyes, step 3> turn around and the final step> find the quickest way to the patliest gali to get out. OR. Single shot solution- adjust with them. Have you seen "A Wednesday???" Naserrudin Shah in his conversation with Anupam Kher points out a congenital discrepency in our charaters - We learn to adjust or adapt too fast.Electricity-adapt,water-adapt, and now bomb blasts-adapt.Change does not come till we desire it , and it's a popular notion that Indians are very resistive to change.Change is......errrr...............boooooooooooooooooring????? How about a story.Yes!,thats a good idea, let's see HOW THINGS CHANGE with a story instead of this insipid essay.......................hopefully in my next Blog post!

Story of the Indian Average II - The Six Stigma

2008-10-21T08:44:00.001-07:00

Ever heard of Six Sigma,the worlds foremost certification for efficient management, I bet you have! We have something thats conversely true for the modern indian society- the Six Stigma-the worlds foremost certification for disparaging an individual from choosing careers that should not be chosen (Note:According to social status and demand).A typical scenario is like this:

Indian Average: "I wanna do M.A. in English Literature dad"

Dad:"Are you out of your mind! What will you eat? You are not that poor in studies that you need to go into arts."

Indian Average: "But I like studying English.Maybe I'll get to go to Oxford one day."

Dad:"bada aaya shakespeare ki aulad!(Look here comes the heir of shakespeare!)How are you gonna survive.Nobody will marry you.Ye ladka khandaan ka naam kharab karega.(This boy will spoil the name of the family) What will people say!"

Indian Average:"But......."

Dad:"You are going into Engineering and that's it.No more arguments."

And then starts the vicious cycle.........a cycle than can stretch over 6 continents.I would be wrong in saying that everyone wants to go to America but a majority does.I don't want to criticize them, no, but I just want to know what they learn from America, rather, the Americans.They learn how to earn money,they learn to flirt,they learn to walk naked on beaches of Acapulco,they learn everything that they shouldn't, but are unable to learn what they should.They don't learn the feeling of respect towards their motherland,they don't learn to raise their voices against injustice,they don't learn to have social responsibility.Remember, that America too was once an under-developed country.They developed because of collective responsibility.In the past 60 years they have reached Mars .Even after 60 years we are still unable to wipe the tears of the poor.This is the principle difference between us and Americans.

Coming back to the Indian average guy and the Six Stigma.I call it a six stigma because our society tends to attach a social stigma with anything and everything.The first victim is you.If you want to pursue arts or any other hatke profession,the social reaction will be "ohhh him.......he is a good for nothing.......pursuing arts somewhere." (Another cultural learning we need from America is dignity of work and labour.)

With this we can understand the perspective of being average.We have to understand that everyone is a performer in one task but average in others.To get the best out of people we have to recognize their talent and not just degrees, a task in which we horribly fail.For developing a country we don't need intelligensia, but dedication.People caught in the wrong jobs or the wrong career cannot dedicate themselves for the benefit of the society.To an extent parents are also responsible for this.For social status and standing we tend to nurture and be nurtured by them, in a dream to get to foreign lands.If we want to see India as a developed country we have to stop this readymade outlook.Growth cannot be achieved in the lap of luxury.Go to the USA, Europe, Japan, etc........learn their qualities, learn the dignity of labour, learn how vocational courses can be more important than engineering or doctory,learn what social awareness is and apply it. If passion drives profession,profession becomes a bliss.True efforts never go waste and half hearted efforts never count.Unfortunately,the thing's bitter to speak and hard to achieve, but still not impossible.As an M.B.A aspirant myself,I have thought over the issue.It took 6 months and a job-offer rejection for me, to figure out what I wanted to do and why I wanted to do it.

Now is not the right time to disclose anything, but soon enough I will and believe me, the task may help us shape a better future.Stay tuned .Chow!

Story of The Indian Average

2008-10-21T02:19:00.000-07:00

Many of you must be thinking about this silly name, "Me,Tea & Society", aren't you? This is not just a name, rather the definition of my life ......the life of an average person who's shuttling between his dreams...ahhhh no!....not dreams...ummm....visions! yeah visions,this sounds good! so, shuttling between his visions, a sometimes friend and sometimes fiend society, and (his armory) cups of tea.

This blog will give you a peek into the life of an average person.........(average person??? Who wants to know about average people?) his thoughts, his ideas (afterall I am the writer of this blog).Well, my friend if you would have understood what average is, you would have become Gautam Buddha by now.He died, or should I say, became immortal teaching us the art of becoming average.Let's just try to have a look what the Indian Average is:

When you are in India, being average is as good as being dead.Every single person and every single parent views his son/daughter as the avant garde heir of their family lineage,(preferrably settled in America). People, like you an me, are sucked into a grotesque gruelling machine, known as "Career".I am not discouraging you to pursue a career....no! no!......not at all! What I am talking about, is the career that you pursue on behalf of your parents, and also for the society that you live in.

The typical life track for educated Indian teens, professed and implemented even before their birth is:

School->Junior college->engineer->MBA or MS ->America->Life Successful! (If any Americans are reading this,probably now they will understand why every tom,dick and harry from India comes to their country for education.Note for Indians:Sorry mates, no offence!)

Why America???........well, you don't remain average after that.You become a Non-Resident Indian man. You get all the good girls to marry plus big dowry plus status plus resplendent visages of your parents, and that's so fucking cool! Afterall, for us (excluding a few imbeciles like me!) Money is God and America is Heaven,and we all want to leave for the heavenly abode,don't we?(LOL!)

What we forget, is that in this rat-race, we gain the world but we loose ourselves.The pursuit of intelligence makes us loose the innocence.In the world of cut throat competition we become a mercenary,who will slit the throats of anybody and everybody coming between him and his success, but it will be just a matter of time before somebody comes and slits his own throat.Rather than earn and learn we earn and burn, and the ones who don't are the imbeciles like the ones in the bracket.This is the story of the average Indian.........a good-for-nothing of the society.